There has been a common theme to some of my friends' blogs in the last day or so. Tami and chou-chou published a couple of good posts about racial issues and how Ethiopian children will be perceived as they grow up in the U.S. of A. I haven't talked about race in a while here so of course, I need to add my two bits from a non US perspective. Because in Canada, being black does not carry the same weight as in the US, even though there is certainly a black history in Canada (it's not well enough known, in my opinion).
I do not like being identified as African American because I am neither. I am British. I am also a Canadian citizen. My parents are of Caribbean descent. When asked, I simply say I am black. When people ask me of my background and I just try to say I was born in England. But I sometimes get funny looks because they obviously want to know why I am black. So I have to add that my parents are Caribbean: from Barbados and St. Kitts. I don't really understand why I have to always add that. If I was white, I seriously doubt that I would have to say I was born in England and my parents were born in Russia, or Poland, or Germany. Being a visible minority means having to explain why you are the color you are. It's annoying that way.
In England, I grew up in a white neighbourhood where there was only one other black family anywhere close to us, and they moved into the area years after we were there. My best friends were all white. In Canada, I always ran around with a multi-ethnic group: we were a mini UN group of girls. Color, race, and culture have never been issues to me, other than there were not that many black families around.
In addition to teaching her everything I can find out about her birth family, I will ensure that Myfanwy knows all about Ethiopian history. There is so much to be proud of as Ethiopia is such a beautiful country and so rich in historical significance. I am fortunate that Calgary has such a great Ethiopian community in it - a community very welcoming to the adoptive families of Ethiopian children.
As for teaching her about my culture, I don't have a lot of knowledge about my Caribbean background. Our family didn't grow up talking about our history that much, other than familial, anecdotal stories. We did not talk about race very much. I think my parents were more focused on ensuring we didn't feel different from anyone else and that we knew we should expect the same treatment and successes as our friends and all other people. We were not brought up as 'white' - it's just that no body's race was perceived as an important label.
But just because my parents didn't talk much about race, doesn't mean I think that was the right approach or that I can avoid it with M. I feel it is my parental duty to make sure she is comfortable with who she is - a black girl in a mostly white country - her place in this world, and her rights.
When I think of who I am, I consider myself British before race comes into play, and I look forward to instilling my love for England in Myfanwy too. I can't wait till I can take her to my homeland and show her the sites, where I grew up, the beautiful countryside, and the history. Chances are, when I finally visit Barbados and St. Kitts I will have Myfanwy with me, and hopefully her grandmother. And, it is my wish to return to Ethiopia with Myfanwy one day so that she can see where she came from.
Of course, I will ensure she understands about both Canadian and American black history and that not everyone will perceive or treat her in the same way. But I don't go around carrying a big, heavy yoke of civil rights like a chip on my shoulder. I know that if it weren't for the civil rights fighters of yore, my life would be different today. But my background and my experience is more than that, and so will Myfanwy's be. And we both have the right to acknowledge and identify with our own histories.
