I am considering all the advice out there on how to bring Myfanwy home and how to attach with her in the precious few months I will be on parental leave at home with her. I know I will need help sometimes, even if it's just for an hour's break. I will only have a short time at home with her, I wish it could be longer, like a year. I know I can take the time off work, by law, but whether or not I can afford to do so is yet to be determined.
In order to facilitate a successful attachment, most experts recommend that no one other than the parent(s) physically interact with their child for the first few weeks - no holding, feeding, bathing, putting to bed, etc. Others say holding is ok. As a first time and a single parent, I'm not sure how realistic that will be for me. While in Ethiopia, I'm sure my mom is going to be more than just a Sherpa - lugging bags and manning the cameras. I think I'm going to have to let her help with some other things, such as nappy changes and holding Myfanwy. But I'm going to do all the feeding & bathing myself. And all the carrying and rocking to sleep, etc. Myfanwy will know that Grandma is there to take care of her and can be trusted. I'm so fortunate to have a supportive mom who wants to play an active part in Myfanwy's life. But I already anticipate there are going to be some difference of opinions on what is best for my daughter. Maybe I'll let Mom read the piles of research first hand. ...actually, that's probably not a bad idea. I have at least one good binder for her to read.
In addition to the clinical experts, I have been reading and listening to experiences from other experts: adoptive parents, single and otherwise. The common thread amongst their stories is that no two experiences are the same.
...and the plans you make will normally fly out the window rather quickly, along with your good intentions and sanity.
