I actually started this post a couple of weeks ago but didn't get around to finishing it. However, there were recent discussions around this topic on one of my fave international adoption message boards so I decided to finish it.
"A Girl Like Me" Youth Documentary
http://www.mediathatmattersfest.org/6/index.php?id=2
It's the 2nd movie choice, in case your browser doesn't open to the right link.
This short documentary was produced by teen Kiri Davis. It demonstrates how some black children feel that 'black is bad' when presented with both a black and a white doll. It also includes black teenage girls discussing how they feel about their skin tone/hair and how they feel they are perceived by others. It is a sad, sad state of affairs and I think this documentary is very educational and it is extremely important for people everywhere to watch this, no matter who they are, not matter the age, no matter the race. It's not just a black and white thing.
What a sad state of affairs to know that these young children feel this way about black skin - in the 21st century for crying out loud! I hope, like myself, they have strong families surrounding them so they finally grow out of that mentality. This so reinforces the fact that I must be a strong role model for Myfanwy from the very moment she is placed in my arms.
Here's an excerpt from one of my replies on the message board:
**********
I'm not a mom yet, but feel I can provide another perspective because I am black. This makes my adoption from Ethiopia a bit easier for me as I won't have transracial issues to deal with and my daughter will have many black people around her all the time (and people of all races, I hope). I will just ensure she is brought up to be proud of her self for all the right reasons, not just her skin tone, and not to judge anyone by their race, appearance, religion, profession, etc.
Since I began this adoption journey, I have really had to come to grips with the 'African American' moniker. I have always resented that term and I never considered myself as such because a)I was born in England, b)my parents came from Barbados and St. Kitts.
When I filled out my A0 (adoption agency) application I had to stop for a couple of the questions to think about my 'race' vs 'ethnicity'. First I had to think 'what's the difference?' Then reading a lot of message boards (mostly American, I must say, not Canadian), 'black folk' are typically referred to as AA. Even my SW says AA {African American} (and Caucasian which I also find to be a totally bizarre and antiquated term, but that's just me). It appears to me that everywhere you go, everyone has a different frame of reference/experience and so refer to people of color in as many different ways. I don't know that there's a right or a wrong way. For example, my own mother says 'colored' all the time!!! Imagine my dismay ;-) But that's just the term she grew up with. I admit that I cringe when I hear white people say it but I know that no harm is meant. If I must identify myself by my skin color then I refer to myself as black. And I refer to 'caucasians' as white. But then I refer to people of Asian descent as Asian, so there's no logic there, now is there! I think we are always so busy tripping over ourselves to be PC (me included) that we sometimes create more difficulties for ourselves.
If I think back to my childhood, maybe there were times when I wished I was white (...OK, so there were definitely times when I did but I've grown out of it!). I am SO going to surround my daughter with positive images/books/anecdotes of people of EVERY color of the rainbow so she knows there is no better or worse color to be.
**************
